Things Read Out Loud

America’s Coprophagia

The unmistakable connection between my dog and George W. Bush's foreign policy

Nov 5 •

Giant Vengeful Tiger Shrimp

The gastric downside of ordering crustaceans in London

Sep 10 •

The 1980s were the heyday of slacker Day Jobs. This was one of mine.

Sep 3 •

The Foghat Chronicles

A joke post of fake liner notes leads to an unlikely 14-year correspondence with members of the ’70s band Foghat

Aug 13 •

Another disastrous teenage moment which pushed me to ignore sports

Jul 2 •

I'll Have the Swordfish

What happens when you smuggle a swordfish beak into the United States

Jun 25 •

Steve Jobs is Dead

A rant about Apple and planned obsolescence

Jun 14 •

Three Days of the Porsche

How a sports car turned me into an asshole

May 24 •

This Is Not a Poem About Haiti

As part of a benefit for the 2010 earthquake

May 17 •

Judgment in Guadalajara

A travel assignment during the Iraq War disintegrates into an encounter with Sylvester Stallone

May 7 •

The Mayor and the Sex Pistols

A true story from the bowels of rural Montana

May 3 •

The Heart of Voltaire

An expedition through Paris to find the blackest heart in France

Apr 26 •

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