The other day I became aware of a strange theory. A local man revealed that he has two siblings who are left-handed, and this obviously means they are greedy. Greedy!
If anything, lefties are the opposite. We are adaptable out of necessity. We have learned to compensate for a ruthless right-handed world. Scissors, knives, guns, saws, playing guitar, playing piano. Using a computer mouse. Using an iPhone. Manually shifting a car. Shaking hands with someone. Bumping elbows at the dinner table. Golf clubs and baseball mitts. The forgotten art of handwriting, where the ink or pencil smears all over your hand as you go. It’s hell out there.
But greedy?? We’re all just trying to make sense of the world. Only 10-12% of humans are left-handed. Lefties grow up trying to reorganize our brains and coordinate our bodies, making it up as we go, in constant combat with the hideous Right Hand Oppression.
Are there any upsides of this Lefty Curse? There are a few. One study found that major league baseball teams feature up to 39% of hitters and 28% of pitchers. In tennis, up to 40% of seeded players are lefties. And if you’re not a jock athlete, approximately 20% of Mensa members are left-handed.
The internet is filled with lists of prominent lefties. Here’s a partial list of southpaws who are known by a single name:
Oprah, Lebron, Obama, Gaga, Whoopi, JFK, Churchill, Bowie, Zuckerberg, 50, Cardi B, RBG, Bieber, Dillinger, Marilyn, Spike, Eminem, Hellboy, McCartney, Cobain, Hendrix, Einstein, Aristotle, Nietzsche, bin Laden, da Vinci, Michelangelo, Joan of Arc, Gandhi, Keanu, Navratilova, Tesla, and Ringo.
We can admit that a few of these celebrities are probably greedy. Definitely Dillinger and Zuckerberg. And some were/are feverishly ambitious. But you could hardly call Mahatma Gandhi a selfish pig. The man willingly undertook EIGHTEEN hunger strikes throughout his life.
However, if you look at medical studies for left-handed human beings, this is where the rubber meets the road. It’s not pleasant reading. And certainly was no picnic to research:
Many studies find links between being left-handed and mental health symptoms, including changes in mood, anxious or nervous feelings, irritability, restlessness, and good old-fashioned “neuroticism.” Lower cognitive skills, “intellectual disability.” Higher health risks of breast cancer and heart disease. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism spectrum disorder, and developmental coordination disorder (dyspraxia).
Another tidbit catches the eye, and oh boy, I can’t wait for this to kick in—according to WebMD, there’s a well-established link between left-handedness and schizophrenia.
Some of this is undoubtedly attributed to being a lefty adjusting to a right-hand world. But canoeing upstream through the research, I still am not seeing any evidence of outright greediness. In a 2014 study, a Harvard economist actually found that left-handed people earned 10 to 12 percent LESS than righties during their lifetime.
These results are profoundly depressing. Mental health issues, medical problems, the dreaded “neuroticism.” There’s a lot to look forward to. If there can be one advantage to being left-handed, one bright shining moment where we ten-percenters could truly feel proud and special, it occurs during formal dining. If you are seated at a traditional table setting, the forks are always waiting on the left and ready to go.
I was told as a young’un that lefties are more creative.